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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25377196">Our Castiel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerindisguise/pseuds/writerindisguise'>writerindisguise</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Destiel - Freeform, HunterCorp Destiel, HunterCorp universe mentioned, M/M, Sam Ships It, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, mention of past character death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:40:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25377196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerindisguise/pseuds/writerindisguise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>HunterCorp Sam and Dean learn that in this world, Castiel is still alive, and Sam worries about how that will affect his brother. He's already lost Castiel once, and this Castiel isn't even his to lose.</p><p>(Or one of the very few plausible ways the writers could bring Destiel into canon without it feeling forced.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Our Castiel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I haven't written Supernatural in a long time, but I felt inspired by this. Mostly because I've been noticing different ways the show could have made up for past queerbaiting by offering something real even if its small, and completely ignores it. This one in particular, I feel like AU Sam and Dean literally existing in the same universe as our Sam and Dean, would've offered a perfect way to hint at it having been a real possibility in another world.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As much as my brother seems to be adapting to this world, I don’t like it as much. The bunker? Sure, it’s great. But the thought of hunting on our own, with no backup, no connections. It’s terrifying. I like having plans. I like laying things out, and understanding every scenario something can go wrong, and how to plan for it. </p><p>The Other Sam and Dean, the ones of this world though—they seem to just go. Not necessarily with a direction or a plan. They just go. It sounds too much like everything can go wrong at a moment’s notice. But then, it seems some things go right too. Or at least, more right than they did for Dean and I.</p><p>The Other Sam and Dean arrived back at the bunker with a few others in tow. The moment he walked through the door, I knew it was going to be nearly impossible to get Dean to let this go—to let him go. I turned to my brother, but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were wide, his mouth was hanging open just a fraction. I wasn’t even certain that he was breathing. I put a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, scared, awe-filled eyes turning to me for a second before he turned back to look at him. </p><p>Crystal blue eyes peered back at us, shifting from my brother to me and back, confusion etched across his features. The Other Dean slapped a hand against his back. “Why don’t you go make sure Jack’s alright?” The Other Dean suggested, his smile clearly forced as he spoke. He nodded, turning away from us and starting towards the hallway.</p><p>“Castiel?” Dean asked, his voice weak. The angel turned back to look at him, still with that same look of curious confusion.</p><p>“Yes?” The Other Castiel asked. My brother only continued to stare in silence. “Is something wrong?”</p><p>I could practically see the gears in Dean’s mind grind to a halt. He opened his mouth, tried to say something, but nothing came out. I reached out to squeeze his shoulder, offering a smile to the Other Castiel. “Nothing, nothing at all,” I assured him. He turned to look at the Other Dean, eyebrows raised. Even with different demeanors, different expressions they used, I could recognize the silent conversation they were having. Though something was…different. Everything was different that their old world, than Dean and Castiel. But there was something particularly different about the Other Dean and Castiel.</p><p>“You sure?” The Other Dean asked, his tone harsh and cold. It wasn’t a tone I was used to hearing in my brother’s voice, even if I knew it wasn’t him. He wasn’t Dean, not really. And that angel wasn’t Castiel.</p><p>“Castiel in our world—he died, a few years ago,” I explained. I felt Dean flinch at my words, and squeezed his shoulder once more before pulling my hand back. The Other Dean and Castiel’s expressions softened in understanding. At least they were sympathetic to that.</p><p>“I’m sorry for your loss,” Castiel said, with all the earnestness and caring that Dean and I had come to expect of the angel. This Castiel being so close to theirs, so caring and kind—I knew it would only make it more difficult for Dean to leave, now that Castiel was back. But he wasn’t really. He wasn’t our Castiel. He wasn’t Dean’s Castiel. </p><p>The Other Castiel reached out, putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder. I’m not sure if only he and I were close enough to hear the way Dean’s breath caught. The Other Dean stood further away, arms crossed over his chest. The Other Castiel though—he seemed to understand something that the Other Dean didn’t. They didn’t say anything, but after a moment the Other Castiel tore his gaze away to looked back at the Other Dean. “I’ll go check on Jack.” He didn’t catch my eye again, but glanced briefly at my brother before he turned away and headed down the hallway, towards where the Other Sam had taken the boy, Jack. </p><p>I still can’t figure him out. There’s no counterpart of Jack that I know of in our world. But I suppose it doesn’t matter, if God is destroying all the worlds as they say. It’s still curious.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” the Other Dean said, taking a step towards us. He didn’t seem necessarily to speak only to my brother, which seemed odd. He acted as though I suffered such a terrible loss as well. Which I had—Castiel was my friend. But he was more to Dean. This Other Dean didn’t seem to understand that, though. And that was when the strangeness, the differences, clicked.</p><p>“Dean, we should get going,” I said, trying not to sound rushed, but I knew we needed to leave. We’d stayed long enough, and our presence—or our realities in another world—shouldn’t intersect with this one anymore than it already had. </p><p>“Can we stay a bit longer?” Dean asked. Not me, of course. He asked the Other Dean, who shook his head. “Come one, we could all live here, in the bunker. There’s enough space for all of us.”</p><p>“Not a chance,” the Other Dean answered. He pressed his lips together, gaze averted to the side for a moment as though he were trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to. He didn’t have as firm a grasp on talking through emotions as had been instilled in my brother and I. That made a lot of other things make sense, now that I thought about it. “Look, I get it,” he said. I knew he didn’t, but he was looking at Dean, so I didn’t interrupt. “I thought I lost Cas a few times.” Cas? That seemed like such an odd, trivial nickname. He was a powerful and magnificent angel—to call him by something that seemed so normal, so human, felt disrespectful. But respect didn’t seem to be a well-instilled value in this other world. “And man, it almost broke me. It did break me. But he always came back. And hell, Cas is a bleeding heart. I’m sure wherever you end up, he’ll zap over and check up on you on occasion.”</p><p>I could see a sad kind of hope brighten in my brother’s eyes. That hurt more than anything else we’d witnessed. More than seeing a Castiel that wasn’t truly Castiel. More than learning that our world was ending. Because there was no hope of getting our old world back. But the Other Dean had just given my brother hope for Castiel, and it was ill-placed. He wasn’t our Castiel, and no matter how much Dean wished for it, he would never be. </p><p>“Would you tell him we’d prefer if he didn’t?” I asked before Dean had a chance to speak. I could see the shocked look of betrayal on his face out of the corner of my eye, but I only stared straight at the Other Dean, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “It was difficult, you understand, to let go of our friend and grieve his death. We’ve only just found peace with it in the last year or so. I don’t believe having a different version of him around would do anyone any good.”</p><p>“Yeah, no problem. Sorry,” the Other Dean agreed easily enough. I knew my brother would give me a lecture on it later, but that was fine. I was looking out for him. </p><p>“You’re lucky you still have him,” Dean said, turning his glare from me to offer the Other Dean a sad smile. “Be sure you don’t take him for granted.”</p><p>The Other Dean looked as confused as I would’ve expected of him, having pieced together what I had from the last several minutes. “Yeah, sure,” the Other Dean agreed as though he wasn’t sure what he was agreeing to, but just wanted us out. </p><p>“We’ll get going now so you can take care of Jack,” I said. Dean didn’t seem to ear me. His eyes had drifted from the Other Dean to the hallway where Castiel had disappeared. I thought for a moment he was going to ask if he could see him once more, if he could say goodbye. But when I tapped his arm, he jerked as though I’d shocked him, and turned to head for the door. I offered a polite smile to the Other Dean. I wondered if the look of confusion was permanent on his features, or if it was because of having doppelgängers in his home. </p><p> Watched the Other Dean look from my brother to the hallway and back again. As. Climbed the stairs behind Dena, I thought that was it.</p><p>“Hey,” the Other Dean called out, stopping us both halfway up the stairs. When I looked back at him again, he looked like he was still uncertain, but also like he’d figured something out. Or perhaps like he’d discovered a missing puzzle piece, only to figure out that it didn’t fit in the puzzle he was currently working on, and was trying to figure out what to do with it. I expected he’d figured out that Dean and Castiel in our world hadn’t been friends. I expected him to ask, to make certain of his mental discovery, but he didn’t. “Take care, guys,” was all he said. </p><p>“You as well,” I answered. I pushed at my brother’s back to get him moving again, and finally we were outside. I never had been so happy to see the pitch black darkness of the middle of the night. </p><p>“Castiel’s alive,” my brother’s whispered voice came from beside me. </p><p>“He’s as much Castiel as those two are you and I,” I said, hoping he would drop it. </p><p>“But he’s—he’s right there. He’s just—he’s alive, Sam. He’s alive in there.” Dean’s voice from frantic, panicked in a way I hadn’t hard in a long time. He was shaking, I could see even in the shadows of the darkness. I reached out for his shoulders and turned him to face me.</p><p>“Dean, look at me,” I said firmly, waiting until he looked up to meet my eyes, and I could see the tears forming. See the tears leaving tracks on his cheeks. “It’s not him. I’m sorry, but it’s not. He’s not your Castiel.” </p><p>His face crumpled and he collapsed against me. I wrapped my arms around him tight. For years growing up, he had been the strong one for me. In these years since Castiel’s death, it’s been my turn to be the strong one. </p><p>So let me say now, I hate the Other Castiel for still being alive. I hate that this Other Dean and Castiel don’t understand, that they don’t get it. Why does this Other Dean have the privilege of keeping his Castiel, when he’s not even? Not his Castiel. Not the way my late friend was Dean’s. It feels like a cosmic joke, to take away Castiel, but let this Other Dean and Castiel exist in this other world. </p><p>But if God could create and destroys worlds with barely a thought, then he must be able to bring Castiel back. The real Castiel. Dean’s Castiel. Before arriving in this other world, I never would’ve considered the possibility of taking on God. But the Other Sam and Dean seemed so determined, so convinced that they can kill God. Surely I can get a favor from him first.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please comment if you liked it! I left it kinda open ended, but I'm not planning on continuing it unless I feel particularly inspired.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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